Monday, June 30, 2014

A New Name

By Alan Smith

    Someone has come up with the following list of words which don't exist, but should:
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
    Some of those words could possibly be useful, but there is another word which doesn't yet exist that I'm even more excited about.  Jesus wrote to the church in Pergamos (one of the seven churches of Asia Minor):
    "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it." (Rev. 2:17)
    What will that new name be?  We can only speculate.  All I know is that it is a word reserved for God's children who faithfully persevere the trials that this life has to offer.  Eternal fellowship with God and His family, the tree of life, worship with the redeemed of all ages, AND a new name to go with your new life!  What more could we ask?  What more could we want?  There are wonderful things that lie ahead for God's children.  Keep that in mind the next time you are struggling to get through the difficulties that this life has brought your way.
    Have a great day!

- Alan Smith, author of the popular "Thought For Today," and minister for the Fayetteville Church of Christ in Fayetteville, NC, may be contacted at

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