In teaching the book of Job in a Bible class on Sunday mornings, one thing that we have pointed out a number of times is the verbal "jabs" thrown by the friends, as well as Job, in their exchanges of speeches. Several of these are direct, and some--especially by the friends--are downright cruel.
However, sprinkled throughout the narrative are also a large number of more subtle jabs. For example, in Job 18:2, Bildad begins his second speech to Job with this question: "How long will you hunt for words?"
On the face of it, that is already fairly mean. After all, Job is going through horrific suffering, and he has still managed to keep speaking and to be clear in expressing what is going on in his mind. However, this question is an even more subtle jab than it appears at face value. In ancient cultures, those who were considered wise were those who spoke with very precise language and who were very controlled in their language.
So, while Bildad's question is somewhat mean on the surface, just consider the subtle undertone of it. He is basically saying that Job is unwise, uncontrolled, and foolish!
As our Bible class has noticed these more subtle jabs, it has caused me to do a lot of self-reflection. How do I talk both to and about other people? Sometimes, it can be tempting to take jabs that are more subtle so that I can claim innocence in a situation. As we hear it said, sometimes, we can "say something without saying something."
But is that the way Christians should treat people? Think of three basic Biblical principles that need to guide our words. This is certainly not meant to be an exhaustive list, but maybe it will cause us to think about those times when we are in a moment of conflict or when we have to deal with someone in a tense situation.
1. Matthew 5:37: "But let what you say be simply 'yes' or 'no'; anything more than this comes from evil." While this statement by Jesus is made in the context of making oaths, the principle is invaluable to all our communication. Followers of Jesus should be known for language that reflects exactly what needs to be said.
2. Colossians 4:6: "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Take note of the word "always." Taking subtle jabs at people certainly is not gracious speech, and it is very difficult to see how this type of language is a proper "answer" to anyone.
3. Matthew 18:15: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." While this has a specific context (believer sinning against believer), notice that Jesus says the conversation is to be both private and clear. The fault is to be told. We are not to beat around the bush. However, we are also not to take any type of verbal jab at the other person in order to try to put ourselves in some type of "stronger" position. Instead, go to them and say what you believe they have done that is sinful toward you.
It is easy to excuse subtle jabs, but we simply cannot be the type of people who speak this way. For one thing, it violates the Golden Rule. None of us would want people taking these types of shots--no matter how subtle--at us, so we simply cannot excuse that type of behavior in ourselves.
But further, to do this is to treat another person as "less than." These types of shots are meant to put the other person on a lower plane than we are, but we should always remember that all people are created in the image of God. As such, there is not a greater or lesser. There are just people, and we need to treat every other person as one made in His image and who has infinite value to Him.
So, no matter the situation--even if it is tense or heated--let's remember to be direct but also to remember the soul of the other person. Or, to use the words of Paul, let's always remember to be "speaking the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15). - Adam Faughn
- Adam Faughn preaches for the Central Church of Christ in Paducah KY. He may be contacted through the congregation's website: http://www.centralchurchofchrist.org Visit the Faughn Family blog, A Legacy of Faith
