A Beautiful Marriage

By Donna Faughn       After more than fifty-four years of marriage, it only makes sense that we did something right in selecting a mate for life. Now, granted, I have known several people who have remained married for many years who really don’t seem to like each other, but remain married for a variety of reasons. This, however, is not usually the norm in marriages with longevity.     Sadly, in today’s world people spend more time looking at the outside of a person and make that their deciding factor in whether or not they want to spend time with them. And even more sadly, they often use those people for their own gratification. This is far removed from what God’s word teaches about relationships in life.     I believe there are two main ingredients in a marriage that lasts a lifetime and I was reminded of them the other day in my Bible study. I’m going to talk about them in reverse order of how they appeared in that text.     The first is friendship. A good healthy relationship with someone of the opposite sex should always begin with friendship. Spending time with the person you consider to be your friend is a great way to grow a relationship. You begin by enjoying talking with this person and learning about them and their life. You look forward to spending time with them, and most importantly, you learn that you can depend on them and share your joys and your sorrows. This is the foundation for a beautiful marriage.     From this comes the second ingredient for a beautiful marriage – love. You begin to develop a deeper feeling for that person, and you begin to look at each other in a different way. You find yourself wanting to be with him/her as often as you can. There is an attraction that is different, as God intended for it to be. In God’s word this is described as agape love – that self giving sacrificial kind of love. You want what is best for him/her and he/she wants what is best for you. When both friends feel this attraction, your conversations deepen and love begins to grow into a different type of relationship. This lays the groundwork for a successful marriage. I love him/her enough that I always want what is best for him/her, including purity in the relationship. On your wedding day you want to present yourself to your mate as one who wants to spend a lifetime together.     I love the lyrics to an old song: Grow old along with me/ The best is yet to be./ When our time has come/ We will be as one – God bless our love/ God bless our love. Verse 3 of this song has these beautiful lyrics: Grow old along with me/ Whatever fate decrees/ We will see it through/ For our love is true – God bless our love, God bless our love.     Oh, the passage I was studying comes from the Song of Solomon. We skim over it in our study sometimes, or get embarrassed when we have to teach it, but a deep dive into this book gives us a clearer understanding of what marriage should look like.     “This is my beloved and this is my friend” (Song 5:16c)     This post came from this beautiful line and the margin of my Bible now has this formula: (Agape) Love + Friendship (companionship, loyalty, commitment, trust) = great marriage     I know many of our readers are already married or single, so a post like this may not seem as important to you.  May I say that you couldn’t be more wrong. You know young people who need to be taught this formula found in God’s word. It is a great source for teaching young women and young men what courting and marriage should be like. It is invaluable for those who are considering marriage. Take time to read it, study it, and enjoy what God intended to be the beauty of courtship and marriage.

- Donna Faughn is the wife and mother of preachers and is a frequent speaker at women’s events. She is a member of the Central Church of Christ in Paducah KY.  She may be contacted through the congregation's website: http://www.centralchurchofchrist.org