By Hugo McCord
Every man, as Jeremiah, Jesus, and Paul, can live a chaste, holy
life and stay single if he so chooses: "No trial has taken hold of you
except what is common to humanity. God is trustworthy, and he will not
allow you to be tried beyond your ability. With the trial he will
provide an escape, so that you can bear up under it" (1 Corinthians
10:13, FHV). "But, said the Lord, It is not good for Adam to be alone
(Genesis 2:18, FHV)." The companionship of a dog or a cat or a parakeet,
though deeply satisfying, still lacks something. Consequently, for
Adam no suitable helper was found (Genesis 2:20, FHV).
Around this first solitary figure stretched the greenery of the
forest and at his feet the wild flowers burst into bloom. But in the
midst of such natural loveliness, it is said that the man himself was
lonely in his solitude. He heard the glad call of the birds to their
mates, and saw them build their homes with joy of natural things. But
for him there was no song, because there was no one to hear his singing,
no one who could understand his dreams, share his joys, or sympathize
in his sorrows.
But God saw that it was not good for him to be alone and created for
him a helpmeet. With her fragile loveliness and grace more beautiful
than his strength, her intellect swifter to understand, and a heart
tenderer to be touched, she brought to him those lovelier graces for
which his nature yearned.
And so this first home came into being as the perfect fulfillment of
a vital human need, the completion of two natures that alone were
incomplete. This is the beauty and significance of every home. For
here alone is found the consummation of earthly happiness, a security
derived from perfect loyalty, a contentment based on mutual
understanding, and a joy born of perfect love (“Wedding Ceremony”
composed by James O. Baird and used at the marriages of his children).
It is noticeable that the all-wise God did not create for Adam as a companion a Robert (Genesis 2:22).
It is noticeable that the all-wise God did not create woman from
man’s head, that she should be his ruler; nor from his feet, that he
should walk on her; but from near to his heart that he should love and
cherish her (John Wesley and Genesis 2:21).
It is noticeable how pleased and even thrilled Adam was when he
first laid eyes on Eve: "This is the time! Bone from my bones! Flesh
from my flesh! She shall be called ishsha (“woman”), for from ish
(“man”), she was taken. Therefore a man shall leave his father and
mother, and be glued to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"
(Genesis 2:23-24, FHV).
A Sunday School teacher was trying to impress her class with the
mind-boggling concept of the omnipresence of God, that there is no place
that God is not. She was shocked when a girl said, “God is not at our
house--God would not be in a house where a man talks as mean as daddy
does to my mother.”
Oh! How that husband needs to repent, to apologize, to pray, and to
read his Bible! He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind
(Proverbs 11:29). Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house
full of feasting with strife (Proverbs 17:1).
One who loves covers a transgression, but he who keeps talking about
a matter separated close friends (Proverbs 17:9). Unavoidly
disagreements will arise, but lovers will quickly find a solution--yes,
before sundown (Ephesians 4:26, FHV). An old man told me, “Every night
in bed, before we go to sleep, I give her a love pat, a reassurance that
all is well between us.”
Husbands are included in the admonition to all Christians to be kind
one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as
God in Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).
If a husband wants to be liked and appreciated he will cultivate a fruit of the Spirit called “kindness” (Proverbs 19:22).
Then the apostle couples with kindness another fruit of the Spirit
called “gentleness:” "I, Paul myself, am begging you by the gentleness
and kindness of Christ" (Galatians 5:23; 2 Corinthians 10:1, FHV). No
husband, if he considers himself a gentleman, would say, “Paul was not
talking to me,” for the very word “gentleman” says a man is gentle.
Can a husband be called a “gentleman” if he is gentle with his boss
and with his neighbors, but he is not gentle with his wife and
children? To be gentle, says the dictionary, is to be “mild; moderate;
not violent, harsh, or rough.” The wise man said, A gentle tongue
melts anger, but harsh words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1,
FHV). What husband is wise and understanding among you? Let him show
by honorable behavior his works in gentleness of wisdom” (James 3:13).
In some homes a worthwhile placard adorns a wall:
Christ is the head of this house, an unseen guest at every meal, a silent listener to every conversation.
No wife can ever appreciate her husband as she would like to if he
is cheerful and smiling away from home, but at home is a sourpuss and
grumpy. An irritable husband cheats himself: "Every day is bad to the
afflicted, but the cheerful of heart have a continual feast" (Proverbs
15:15, FHV). "A cheerful heart is a good medicine, while a crushed
spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 27:22, FHV).
Who is the greatest husband? Jesus is the “bridegroom,” and his
“bride” is “the church” (John 3:29; Ephesians 5:25). How much did he
love his wife? He “gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25), and "In
this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his
own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church"
(Ephesians 5:28-29, NIV).
Likewise, in the same way, each one of you also must love his wife
as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:33, NIV). The wife of Hugo McCord has
often said that she will never have any trouble in being subject to him
as long as he loves her as much as he loves himself.
Paul’s personification of love is beautiful and meaningful:
Love is patient. Love is kind and not jealous. Love does not
boast, and is not puffed up. Love does not behave improperly. Love is
unselfish. Love keeps calm. Love holds no grudges. Love rejoices not
in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love covers with silence the
faults of others. Love trusts and hopes and endures all things. Love
never ceases(1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
Peter tells how the prayers of husbands will be heard: "Likewise,
husbands, live understandingly with your wives, as with those who are
more delicate; and bestow honor on them, as being fellow-heirs of
the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Peter 3:7).
Everybody’s wholesome comedian of another generation, the late Will
Rogers, received an invitation from a rich Hollywood hostess to a
party. He went, and was the life of the evening. On his return home,
he sent a bill for $1000.00 to the hostess for “services rendered.” She
was shocked! She telephoned, “I invited you as a guest, not as an
entertainer.” He replied, “When Mrs. Rogers’ name is not on the
invitation to a party, I go to work. You will please mail me the
$1000.00.” She did, and he gave the money to charity. Will Rogers was
not a New Testament Christian, but he believed in giving honor to his
wife.
Every wife knows soon after marriage if her husband is a prize, a surprise, or a consolation prize.
- via The Family Friend, a monthly newsletter published by the Calvert
City Church of Christ, Calvert City, KY. It is an excellent resource
for articles relating to the family. To learn more consult the
congregation's website: http://www.calvertchurchofchrist.com
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