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Monday, January 21, 2013

Grief WORK!

By Kevin Williams
     Grieving is not an event but a process. Too many times we might like to think that it is a single event in life: we have a loss, we grieve, and we get over it. However, when we experience the loss of one near to us there is much more that is involved. Note this: WE DO NOT GET “OVER” THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE, WE LEARN HOW TO ACCEPT THE LOSS AND LIVE WITHOUT THEM! If each of us could only realize and accept this principle, then we would better handle our grief, we would better help others who grieve, and we would know what to expect when we experience future losses.
     This “process” of grief is, many times, some of the most difficult work that any of us will ever do, and, rightfully so. We have much invested physically, emotionally, and even spiritually with those whom we love. And, that being the case, we ought to expect to “grieve” when we lose them. That grief is a good reflection of the closeness of the relationship we have with them. That being said, what are some simple things that we can do to help in our grief process? Here are a few with one-word reminders that might help us…
1. Eyes—look at pictures. We are all visual people to some extent. Reminiscing and shedding tears while viewing “memories” of those we love can be tremendously effective in helping us learn to live with our loss. (Gen. 50.10) 2. Lips—talk about your loss and your concerns with someone who will listen. Don’t keep things bottled-up, but freely speak the things that are on your mind. It is often helpful to seek out someone who has gone through what we are currently experiencing. Familiarity breeds understanding. We all need a support group. That is what brothers and sisters in Christ are for, access them! (1 Cor. 12.25) 3. Hands—do something constructive. While we do need time to grieve, even on an ongoing basis, we also need to “do” something and busy the mind and body. Be productive, help others, and feel good about it in the process. (Eccl. 9.10) 4. Knees—get on them and pray to the Lord for help. No one can help us like He can! Not only talk to Him, but also listen to Him through the Word He has given us. There are so many helpful texts for those who grieve. God has prepared those for us from days of old. (1 Pet. 3.12) 5. Feet—keep going, keep moving, develop a new routine over time. While we must deal with our loss, and take the time to do it, it is also very beneficial to avoid reclusion by developing a routine for yourself that involves people and things outside your house. (2 Sam. 12.16-20)
     “The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace” (Num. 6.24-26).

- Kevin Williams preaches for the Walnut Grove Church of Christ in Benton, KY.  He may be contacted through the church's website:

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