By David R. Ferguson
In writing to the church
at Ephesus, the Apostle Paul stated, 1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord,
urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in
love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There
is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to the one hope that
belongs to your call – 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father
of all, Who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:1-6 [ESV])
One of the most
difficult things to do is watch a beloved parent, who in former years you looked
upon as a stalwart of strength, slowly lose the vitality he or she formerly
possessed, and witness their former vigor sapped away through the slowly
encroaching years. As the ensuing years pass by, hard decisions need to be
made. One of my longtime friends shared with me recently a similar situation
his family was facing regarding his own father. This is how he described it.
The tension in the room
was palpable. It could be literally felt. His elderly father was in the living
room, and his mother, the loyal wife of 67 years, was frustrated because my
friend’s sister and brother had suggested that their father should stop
driving. As they continued their discussion, my friend prayed for words that
would help. When the tension eased for a moment, and emotions had calmed down,
my friend felt the time was right for him to approach his father. Understanding
that his father had been a proud man, and never looked for a handout or wanted
to be a burden to anyone, my friend began the conversation by talking about the
ways his father had helped people throughout the years. He finally asked his
father if helping others had been a burden to him. His father thought for a
moment as a smile creased his face, and he replied, “No, it was never a burden.
In fact, I always felt it was a great blessing to help others that brought him
great joy.” My friend responded with a smile of his own, saying gently to his
father, “Then might I suggest that maybe the time has come for others to
experience that same joy by helping you.” His father agreed, saying he had not
thought of it this way before.
Many
of us go through life determined to do everything ourselves. In our family, at
work, and perhaps especially as we age, we are determined to go it alone and
not to be a burden to others. However, God has created us to live in fellowship
with one another. Over time our roles change. Sometimes we are the ones who
help, and sometimes we are the ones who receive help. This is the beauty of
fellowship in God. But don’t be afraid to ask for help of those who are your
brothers and sisters in the Lord. That’s what we are here for.
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