By Brian
Mitchell
Where there is no wood the fire ceases.
Fire needs 3 things to exist: Fuel, Oxygen and Heat. Without anyone of these
elements there is no fire. Likewise gossip needs three things to exist, thrive,
and do damage. It needs a victim, a tale bearer, and an audience. Again,
without all of these constituent elements gossip will not take form and no
damage can be done.
The first step to stopping gossip is the
realization that none of us personally wants to be the subject of gossip, tale
bearing, or slander. Once we admit that, then we move to the next step, which
is the personal application of the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would
have them do to you” Mt7:12. If you don’t want to be gossiped about or
slandered, then don’t do it to others.
What do we do when we are tempted to
gossip, be a tale bearer, or slander someone? Remember that no one benefits
from gossip and slander. “A good name in a man or woman is the immediate jewel
of the soul. He who steals my purse steals trash, but he who steals my good
name robs me of that which enriches him not and makes me poor indeed” Shakespeare.
In other words, no one benefits from gossip and slander. Slandering someone
else’s good name not only does you no good, it many times does irreparable harm
to those who are the victims of your slander.
Remember that gossip can and often does destroy
your own trustworthiness and reputation—Prov.26:24-26. The more you gossip
about others the less trustworthy you become. “He who gossips with you will
gossip about you.” One of the gossiper’s main goals is to inflate their own
reputation by tearing down the reputation of others, but in the end, it is
really your reputation that suffers. Gossip is not befitting a child of God and
must be done away with—Col.3:8-10.
Remember that once gossip and slander is
out you can’t get it back. There was a story of the young man who slandered the
name of an older preacher that he did not like very much. Upon realizing the
error of his actions, he went to the old preacher and repented, he then asked
how he could make things right. So the old preacher took the young man outside
on a breezy day and tore open a feather pillow, and then as the wind scattered
the feathers in every direction he told the young man to go out and retrieve
each of those feathers. The point is obvious: “We are many times no more able
to repair the damage that gossip does, than the young man would be able to
gather all of those feathers back.”
Realize that your heart is the heart of the
matter. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” Mt.12:34. Jesus
teaches us that we speak about those things which are present in our minds, so
if we are always dwelling upon negative things, those things are going to be
manifested in our communications with others. So if gossip and slander come
from the heart, and are themselves a direct result of that which I am focused
on, then I need to change the things I focus on. If I am continually focused on
the negative aspects of people and situations, then those are the kind of
things I am going to share with others.
So we need to change our focus and look for
the positive. Instead of dwelling on the fact that someone has done you wrong,
and you must therefore get even by talking negatively to others about them,
remember God who says “vengeance is mine I will repay.” So speak what is good
for necessary edification” Eph.4:29.
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