Humorous Labeling

(I am told the following are actual label instructions on consumer goods. I'll have more later.)
On a bag of Fritos-"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap-"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???..)
On some Swanson frozen dinners-"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but it's just a suggestion).
On Sainsbury peanuts-"Warning: contains nuts" (talk about a news flash). -Selected

- via THE SOWER, a weekly publication of the Arthur church of Christ, Arthur, IL. Ron Bartanen, who serves as minister and editor, may be contacted through the congregation's website: http://www.arthurchurchofchrist.com